


The Beauty in the Breakdown Pt. 1

by livesybaby



Series: I'll be needing stitches [7]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 06:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6459505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livesybaby/pseuds/livesybaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 1 of 2</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beauty in the Breakdown Pt. 1

By the time I started working again my injuries had faded to just a raised scar beneath my hairline. Mum had been fussing as usual and it was a relief to be getting back to normal, Adam was taking a well-earned break from the scrapyard now I was back full time and I’d told him to take Victoria down south for the weekend as a treat. Vic was over the moon and I couldn’t help but be happy for her cheerfulness, even when she dragged Adam and I holiday shopping. I’d waved them off early this morning with the deal that I’d stay at their house to make sure it didn’t get burgled and the place definitely felt quieter without them.

After my shift I’d had tea at the pub with my Mum, I’d spotted Robert sat in a booth with Chrissie but he didn’t seem to notice me. He was too engrossed in whatever he was whisper-shouting about with his wife. I went to use the bathroom before I left and had to pass their table, I caught a flicker of their heated conversation “-not my fault you can’t handle your drink!” as I rushed past. I was surprised to see Robert appear in the Men’s room a few minutes later, he looked frustrated but his face seemed to soften when I turned to face him.

“You okay?” I asked, rinsing my hands underneath the tap. “Yeah…No…A-Are you busy tonight?” I told him I was house sitting for Victoria and Adam and he asked if he could pop round, I agreed trying not to sound eager. “I’ll get some drinks in, you look like you could use a few” He nodded, running his hands down his face. “Hey, calm down. It can’t be that bad” I worried, placing my hand on his arm uncertainly. He sighed “Just not having a great time at home right now, could really use someone to vent to right now y’know?” I nodded “You know I’m always here for you” he smiled gratefully, squeezing my hand lightly. “I’ll see you in a bit” he murmured “If my head doesn’t explode first”

It wasn’t even an hour later when Robert came round; I could tell he’d already been drinking from the slight slur in his voice. We sat on the sofa and I could tell he was tense, I handed him an open bottle and he took it gratefully. I noticed how dishevelled he looked, his tie had been loosened beforehand and his shirt sleeves were rolled up past his elbows. His hair was windswept and his eyes were bloodshot, I wondered if he’d walked from Home Farm or just parked his car out of sight. “What’s happened?” I whispered, unsure whether it was a good idea to break the silence. 

“I don’t even know, things have been tense for a while but I put that down to Lachlan’s Dad being here. Then he left and I thought things were going back to normal, when I came out with you lot I was glad she hadn’t come…I just wanted to relax without her breathing down my neck all the time, I mean what sort of relationship is that? Where I want to be as far away from her as possible” I didn’t speak, I just rested my hand on his knee comfortingly as he continued. “When I came back that night I was hammered, but you know that already. She started this huge argument about how I hadn’t spent enough time with her, but she was the one who suggested I go out and then I ended up sleeping on the sofa. Lawrence was his usual self the next morning; you know… nothing I ever do is good enough for that family. I thought getting engaged would make things easier, they’d finally accept me and I’d finally belong somewhere but it just feels wrong…I don’t want to be here, I don’t want this life y’know?” 

By now Robert was shaking, his face was red and his knuckles were white. I hadn’t seen him like this ever; he looked like he was well and truly losing it. I put both our bottles on the table and grabbed his hands in mine “Look at me” I whispered and watched as his face softened “You don’t have to marry her you know? And I’m not just saying that so you’ll be with me, I mean it. If you’re not happy then walk away, do you want to feel like this for the rest of your life?” He swallowed, shaking his head “I can’t Aaron; I can’t just leave her… what about everything I’ve worked for? I’ve done so much and come so far. This was all I ever wanted; I didn’t want to be that kid…the Farmer’s son who will never amount to anything. I worked so hard, so fucking hard Aaron and look where it’s got me? I can’t just give up because if I do I’ll have nothing, I’ll have to start over and I burnt so many bridges by leaving the village that if I leave her I’ll be on my own and I-I can’t do that Aaron, I don’t want to be alone…” 

His eyes were watery now and I couldn’t tell if it was the drink or the anger but he looked so broken, I placed a hand on his cheek and wiped away a stray tear before he broke down fully and buried his head into my shoulder. I clutched him tightly, running my hands up and down his back as he shook. His hands gripped the back of my shirt and I felt the warm tears against my neck. He pulled away a short while later, muttering apologies about how he didn’t know what had gotten into him and how I must think he’s pathetic. “Don’t be an idiot Rob, everyone gets like this at some point… even you” He smiled gratefully and nodded, wiping his face messily. 

I sat back on the sofa and pulled him down gently, he looked confused at first but let me pulled him into me. His head resting against my chest and his long legs tangled somewhere down the other end of the sofa with my own, I let one hand run up and down his arm whilst my other stroked his blonde hair comfortingly. If anyone had suggested that I, Aaron Livesy would one day be comforting someone in this way I probably would have thought they were a weirdo but something about the way Roberts hand was tangled in my shirt and his eyes had fluttered shut told me that this was good, this was safe, this was home.

“I don’t know when I became this person” he whispered after a while “I always blamed Andy but I think it was before that, y’know… I never felt like I was… enough” I placed a silent kiss into his hair as I listened to his voice “I understand” I whispered back. “I just feel like, if I leave Chrissie now then nothing I ever did was worth it… I’m nearly thirty and I’ve wasted my entire life not being enough for anyone” he murmured. “You’re enough for me, you always have been. You know that don’t you, Rob?” I felt him smile against my chest, his grip on my shirt loosening as his hand curved around my waist. “You know, you’re the only person I feel safe with Aaron. You’re the only one who I don’t have to pretend with” I smiled at this, placing yet another kiss into his hair so he knew I’d heard him. “I don’t know if I can leave her… I don’t know if I’m ready” he explained “Then I’ll wait for you” I found myself saying “I’ll wait until you’re ready, because I think we both know you can’t marry her Rob. This isn’t the life you’re meant to have” 

“You always know the right thing to say” he whispered, placing a small kiss on my chest. “Why don’t you stay the night? Tell her you’re staying at a mates?” he laughed at this “I don’t have any mates Aaron, only you” I tightened my grip on him for a moment, sighing as I released. “I’ll tell her I need some space” he mumbled, reaching over to the table to grab his phone before resting his head on me again. I couldn’t help but glance at his past texts as he messaged her, the last 8 messages from her had been one-word answers and requests relating to business. I didn’t see even one where she told him she loved him or said anything comforting and it made me wonder if she actually did love him or not. In contrast our texts always showed some form of familiarity and love, not like the serious messages she left on his phone. 

He placed his phone back on the table and turned to me, now resting his chin on my chest. “Feel a bit better?” I asked, stroking my hand through his hair absentmindedly. He nodded, smiling lovingly at me before leaning in to kiss my mouth. I couldn’t hide the smile that it pulled from me “Film or early night?” I asked, and got a suggestive wink as a reply. “Tut Tut Robert, your mind is always in the gutter” I scolded playfully. “You saying you don’t want me?” he teased “I always want you” I admitted freely “Better take me upstairs then”.


End file.
